#parents with unmedicated kids that say “no no my kid is not [r word] they don't need it”

[steelthroat]

I only have 1 very controversial opinion:

You should have a license for kids and pets.

Long rant incoming:

Like... yeah, I know it's bad, it can be strumentalized politically etc etc. I know I know- controlling natality like that is dangerous and stuff. Fine, I get it, I swear I do.

But seriously after all the [INCREDIBLY BAD] parenting I witness (especially now that I am staying at the theme park) and the straight up animal abuse (because otherwise I don't know how to label that shit) I see from certain dog owners...

GEE I GET IT PARENTING/TAKING CARE OF AN ANIMAL IT'S HARD BLA BLA BLA. Don't have them. Please I swear to God Don't make what are supposed to be good memories fucking miserable to your kids.

Just be humble and seek some help or informations on how to take care of something/someone else.

Look. I've seen poor dogs laying on the floor under the few shadows that are here and there tired, absolutely devastated. And I know for a fact the ground ain't cool, those dipshits that own them walk with fucking shoes on and forget the main reason they do huhhh???

DO NOT BRING DOGS WITH YOU AT THE THEME PARK. JFC IT'S NOT THAT HARD OF A CONCEPT. Your dog will be tired, the floor is literally lava, you CANNOT bring them on the roller coasters and you cannot leave them to the staff. It will be stressing for you and miserable for them, do not fucking do it.

And please parents don't be assholes for a day? Jfc it's the first time your 5yrs old kid has experience something like that, be patient???? My god, they're excited, YOU brought them here, match even a half of their enthusiasm.

I know your kid has asked you to look at [insert thing] 30 times and you've already seen it 3000 times before. THEY HAVEN'T. THEY ARE FIVE FFS. LOOK AT THEM SHOWING YOU THE COOL THING. It takes five seconds, even less and they’ll be satisfied.

And the ones who snap at their kids after they ask them something twice.

I hate you. You should have never reproduced. You made life miserable for both you and your poor kid that DOESN'T DESERVE YOU.

Like I don't get it, kids ARE hard and can be pretty annoying, 100% no doubt in my mind. But also if you listen to them, if you [EDUCATE] them and understand how they think... it does get easier. You're the parent. If you don't know how your kids "work" you're doing a bad job.

And maybe you are gonna think "hey Zero, you don't have kids you don't understand, also there is a difference between a parent ignoring a tantrum and what you're saying maybe they are..."

NO. Nuh uh! I've been around children all my life, I've had to help some parents, spend a lot of time being the babysitter of the friend group to the younger siblings.

And guess what? I was their favorite person, why? I matched their energy, I LISTENED to them and I was KIND to them when they asked something. If I had to stop a tantrum I didn't turn it into a screaming match.

Guess I was doing SOMETHING right if ALL those kids from different backgrounds and contexts decided *I* was someone worth listening to.

______________________________

On a more serious note, I know a license for kids is not a good thing because 100% this would be strumentalized against natives, people of color, poor people, etcetera. Yes, yes, I know. It should never become a reality. I am just venting about the bad parents I see, and I wish nothing for them to see the error in their ways and to not further traumatize or make their kids' lives miserable and start over. I believe in rehabilitation and redemption.

I am just angry and tired mate.

A license for animals, however, is something I am starting to believe in after some shit I've witnessed. These owners are dangerous.

[nerves-nebula]

Warning: this is fluffy as hell and super cute. Do not be alarmed.

Somewhere far, far, *far* in the future, around when the boys are in their late-thirties to early-forties:

——

Doctor Dumbass MD💜: Hey do you remember during your bachelor party when we were drunk and I called dibs on having kids first?

Doctor Dumbass MD💜: I’m with child.

Leo stared blearily at his phone, his eyes still blurry from sleep and obstructed by Usagi’s fur. He climbed over his husband, groaning as he did, to sit on the edge of the bed and forego replying just to call.

“You are conversing with Donatello.”

“Dee what the fuck did you just text me because I know I didn’t just read what I just read.”

Donnie snorted, “Given your reaction and d-determination to call me at… 2:36 AM, I’d say you r-read it perfectly.”

“Are you-“ he hesitated, searching for words, “pregnant or whatever? Egg pregnant? Laying eggs?”

“Wh-what would your reaction be if I s-said yes?”

Leo stared at the wall, stunned, “Uh- I’d be supportive I guess? But mostly confused as hell. Fuck- I don’t even know if you’ve- do female turtles have egg cycles? And also who the fuck is the other parent? Are you sleeping with someone?”

“Interesting reaction.” Donnie just hummed, jostling his phone enough to make Leo hold his away from his face a bit, “However, r-rest assured, I’m not pr-pregnant. As for your other questions, I th-think it’s funnier if I d-don’t answer.”

“You’re an ass.” Leo groaned, slumped and releasing a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. A furry hand reached out, wrapping around his waist, and he entwined his finger’s with Usagi’s, “So what the hell did you mean by ‘I’m with child’ then?”

Usagi’s ears perked up.

“I’m making a baby.”

Leo frowned.

“You’re… making a baby.”

“Yep.”

“How are you… making a baby?”

Donnie snickered, “Well, you s-see, when a daddy mutant t-turtle gets really bored and lonely-“

“Hate where this is going so far.”

“Shut up. When he’s bored and l-lonely, he conducts a series of morally and ethically d-dubious experiments in a makeshift l-lab definitely *not* full of tech stolen from D-Draxum-“

“Nice.”

“And then he makes a baby!”

“You lost me.”

“You’ll s-see.” Donnie answered cryptically, “Come by tomorrow. Night, S-Sis.”

Leo gaped at his phone as Donnie hung up on him.

“Hun?” Usagi rolled over to him, “You good? Who’s pregnant?”

Leo groaned and set his phone down, looking down at his husband, “I’ll explain on the way to Donnie’s in the morning. I need sleep. Roll back over, I wanna be big spoon.”

—

Leo frowned as they approached Donnie’s place. He and Usagi had left a bit late, but as they came closer they could see their whole family waiting on the porch-front.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Dumbass won’t let us in until we’re all here.” Raph answered, pushing himself out of Casey’s lap. He turned to the front door and banged on it, “They’re here, Donnie!”

Mikey sat up from his spot sprawled out on the porch, “Did he send you weird texts early in the morning too? He sent me the “Am I Gregnant?” video three times.”

April laughed, “What? He just asked me to come by in the morning! Why doesn’t Donnie text me weird shit?”

“Because I know you’ll c-come to my house and break down my door.” Donnie’s voice answered electronically through the security system, “Just a moment, dear f-family, I will b-be with you posthaste.”

Leo groaned, “Remember when Donnie was unmedicated and we all thought he was weird?”

Mikey snorted, “Yeah, then you signed him up for a theater class and he decided to make it his new passion project just to spite you.”

Casey laughed, “Fuck, I still get show tunes stuck in my head.”

Usagi chuckled and lightly jabbed Leo with his elbow, “Looks like this is your own fault, love.”

“Ah, the consequences of my own actions.” Leo sighed, “We meet again.”

After a few minutes, the door finally unlocked and Donnie swept it open, “Ladies, G-Gentlemen, and Mikey, welcome to my humble abode. Please, keep your shoes on while entering, my new experiment l-likes to bite.” He turned to lead them through the halls of his house towards the back. He had a small backyard where he grew lots of his own food and had once attempted to raise a chicken that still wandered the streets of his neighborhood. Off to the side was a greenhouse he’d built himself for some of his mad scientist experiments that he couldn’t keep in his weird basement dungeon.

“Enter with caution.” He warned as he unzipped the flap and stepped in, “Watch where you s-step, too.”

“Donnie, this better not be another world domination plot.” April groaned as she stepped into the humid environment.

“Hey.” Donnie turned back, “We all agreed to never t-talk about that again.”

“Don what the hell are you showing us?” Mikey whined, “I love you, bro, but I hate being in here.”

“Fine, fine.” Donnie rolled his eyes, “I will skip the dramatics, but only because Mikey is my favorite for the d-day.”

Leo and Raph gasped, affronted. They both immediately turned on Mikey, throwing simultaneous punches that got him in the arm.

“No fighting in the greenhouse!” Casey shouted, “If I cant suplex a plant, you can’t fight!”

“Th-thank you, Casey.” Donnie nodded and came to the main table in the center of the greenhouse. His voice immediately pitched up as he cooed to one of his plants, “There they are! Hey there, sweet one. Did you have a good nap?”

This wasn’t too unusual for Donnie. He used baby voice on all of his plants, he’d done it since they were kids and had doubled down on it when they’d told him it was super weird.

What was unusual was the plant cooing back.

Donnie lifted up the bundle of green, dusting off some dirt, and turned around to face everyone.

“Family and loved ones,” he grinned, “meet Pasiflora.”

Tiny yellow eyes blinked at them all, looking around and taking in all the new people. Small green hands held onto one of Donnie’s fingers as he nestled them into the crook of his elbow.

“It’s a baby!” Casey gasped, coming forward to crouch and wiggle his fingers at them, “Hello tiny baby.”

“What the fuck?”

“Mikey, l-language.” Donnie frowned.

“Don’t ever say that to me again.”

“Watch. Your. Language.” Donnie challenged him, “I’m holding a baby.”

Mikey glared at him, looking at said baby.

“Donnie, how did you get a baby?” Leo asked, stepping closer to gently touch the kid’s fingers with his own.

Donnie grinned, “I’m so glad you asked! Do you remember when we were kids and I drank that m-mystic mutagen that double mutated me into a g-giant turtle?”

Raph frowned, “Yeah. We had to take you to Draxum and you spent two weeks at his place getting treatment before you finally were turned normal again.”

“I used the same mystic mutagen. I found my old n-notes from then and was able to track down m-more of it. Originally I was just going to mess around with it like usual, try to break it down to determine its components, assess volatility, et c-cetera; but then I was laying on the couch contemplating whether I should call someone to hang out or just watching soap operas all day and I realized: I d-don’t have to do either!” He held up the baby, “And ta-da!”

“You were bored and lonely, so you made a baby?” Leo balked.

Donnie shrugged, “Isn’t that how most babies are made?”

April snorted. She reached out, plucking the baby from Donnie’s arms and expertly laying them in her arms, “Well, they’re certainly cute.”

“Thank you! I used my f-favorite specimen for them.” Donnie cooed at the baby, “Isn’t that right, honey? Who’s a beautiful little laurifolia?” He leaned in and nuzzled his face against theirs, “Widdle water wemon. Pwecious gowden bewwappwe.”

“I will pay you money to never do that again.” Leo grimaced.

Usagi knocked Leo with his hip, “I’ll pay you more than him to keep doing it.”

“Uncwe Usagi is cuwwently winning the competition to be youw god pawent.” Donnie cooed, “Isn’t that wight?”

The baby giggled back, grabbing at his fingers with their tiny hands. They sputtered when he reached in to tickle their tummy, shrieking as loud as they could in delight.

“Damn.” Raph grinned, “Who’d have thought Don would be the first of us to have kids?”

Donnie pointed at Leo, “He knew. I t-told him I had dibs.”

“I didn’t expect you were serious!” Leo shoved him over, scooping up the baby from April, “How was I supposed know you’d go and create this… this…” he trailed off, looking down at the odd little bundle.

They smelled like chlorophyll and their skin was a shade of green that both matched and contrasted his own. There were veins visible on their little arms that were too thin and too spindly to be a creature like them, so uniquely plant-like. Even the tufts of hair on their head were different, looking more like bits of leaf than actual hair.

Even still…

He sniffled and turned to Usagi, eyes wide and almost brimming with tears.

“I want one.”

——

I absolutely adore Pasiflora being Donnie’s future baby. He’s gonna raise them in all the ways Splinter didn’t raise him and it’ll be beautiful. He’ll meet some other single parent at the PTA and fall in love.

But that’s a long time from now, so I will immediately be following this up with terrible, painful angst. Be on the lookout!

-Monster Anon 🐗🐗🐗

FHDSAIFLDHAKGLDSKG !!! AUGHAUGDSHG I loved this so much that i waited until i made art for it to post it.. .fasdghuaghdsfsg...

[romanoffsbish]

Hello,

I’d love to share some lovely conversations my brother and I have had to no one in particular, more or less to the void and if one person finds it humorous then I’ve accomplished something.

*Dark humor-Unaliving, Abusive Parentals*

*Also, included some with my mother because she’s just wow… 😂*

Truly, don’t read below the belt if you’re sensitive—protect your heart, we just coping, and lightweight trauma dumping but like in a funny way and in a way that allows you to just skip right on by because nonconsensual trauma dumping is messy as fuck. 🤪

——

Pier 39 — SF

“I like your shirt.”

(Natasha Romanoff shirt, duh 🤪)

“Thank you..”

…

“That’s how you find the women loving women…”-Me whispering to my brother.

“Which was shocking to me because she’s in an American flag shirt.”-Zach

“You can be gay and stupid, we don’t discriminate.”-Me

—

At the State fair

“Come on Zach, do the hang on challenge.” (Aunt)

“I’ll do the hang on challenge if it’s with a rope.”

—

*Playing Pokémon Go* (3)

*Solrock flees*

Me: "That bitch fled… I'm tryna play

Pokémon, not be reminded of my dad"

Katy: "Was it a Hitmonchan?"

(Zach’s dad was a POS, as were all of Eva’s partners 👊🏻👀)

-

“You sound like a rabbit eating a carrot.”-Rachel(eldest sister)

“You sound like a bitch!”-Me

“I can live with that.”-R

“You already live with that. With many…”-Z

“What?”-Me

“I’m not going to elaborate”-Z

…

“Not you! Not you!”-Z in a panic

-

“Why are we cheering in the bathroom?”-Me

“I don’t think that’s cheering…😳”-Z

—

*Seeing Smile*

“No, because if it was me I’d kill myself in front of my boyfriend. Don’t believe me? Well you will now”—Me

“Not you imagining yourself having a boyfriend”-Alex(bestie)

—

At the SF zoo

*Family friendly train ride rolls by, random kids wave to us/we wave back*

“Should I pull a Josh?” I ask my brother, who snickers while we evade our aunt’s glare.

(Our brother Josh unalived by train, my boy kinda lost his head (but literally 🥁) in 2016, enjoy this tribute tattoo 😂)

*5 minutes later*

“You know, I was talking to mom about Josh, and I was wondering if anyone was listening to music when it happened.”

*Stares knowingly*

“I bet it was a head banger”

—

“Not many people train to commit suicide, but…”-Zach

—————

Mom—😳😂

She’s a menace—I don’t wish to post this and offend anyone who lives with bipolar, but this is just my personal experience with a mother who chooses to remain unmedicated.

I’d also like to say I’m not perfect, there are times when I could be more patient, or cautious with my words, but it’s also really hard to get through to a woman who never sees what she’s done wrong throughout your lifetime. And I’m 26 years worth of exhausted, so cut me a break, it’s hard work being the black sheep of both sides of the family 😂

Promise I’m only showing what I deemed funny after the hurt was over, I’m a-okay my dudes 😂

—

*random ramblings*

“I’m nice until you fuck with me.”-M

“I’m never nice.”-Me

—

All in a days work 😂😂

Now why she send me this song?? 😂😂😂